Dear Lujan,

It’s taken me some time to try to absorb all that happened in Cambodia. I have gained  a deep awareness of how much resentment has become my prison. Resentment at the onslaught of violence from what I see around me, which I myself perpetrate by harboring anger deep inside and then use to operate in devious ways to retaliate against those who I feel have wronged me.

The truth is that I feel like those elephants, that after years of being bound and beaten, can be kept tied by a soft rope. Though I recognize my patterns I don’t always catch myself before I lash out and I’m back to feeling bound. 

I kept wondering, how have you protected the innocence of your heart despite all the pain you’ve experienced?

How do I find it again my heart?

I don’t know how to be free, and this hurts me deeply.


The only way to find the way back to your heart is to be there upon the moments that are the gifts of your life intertwined with all the elements of your journey.

There are so many ways to answer this question. Be in a state of gratitude. and attempt not to have an opinion in the midst of those moments where everybody else does.

Do the most elegant thing that can be done. Those things that need to be accomplished, that are the most difficult things to communicate, which indicates which direction must be embarked upon.

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