Testimonial – Shadows In the Twilight: Conversations With a Shaman

As it is with all of Lujan’s material I have made my way through this book a couple of times. This was such a powerful idea for a book. I’m so grateful Lujan and Bill decided to collaborate in this way. I relate directly to so much of what Bill struggles with.

Specifically his impatience with his own progress was something that resonated with me greatly. I also find myself constantly looking for the next step in my evolution instead of fully being with where I’m at and patiently waiting without expectation. Hearing Lujan’s guidance on this behavioral pattern was very uplifting.

Similarly, my partner and I laughed the other day at how once we have begun to figure out a new concept or practice we like to assume we’re finished with it and rush to learn something new and entirely different. While ambitious, it’s a funny pattern to contend with in terms of really mastering something to the point that it integrates into your being and becomes natural. When this was brought up in Bill and Lujan’s conversation it really felt like I was being spoken to directly.

In fact this seems to be one of the most powerful things about this book. The exchange between these two beings is so genuine and in alignment with their service that you often feel like you’re part of the conversation. Even in moments when ideas and hurdles that are not in relation to my life are being explored I can feel their potency and the importance of gathering this wisdom regardless. You never know where the pertinence of a nugget of wisdom will pop up in your life. Perhaps it’s not for you and you’ll pass it on to someone in need down the line? Or maybe it’s in relation to a challenge for you later in life?

In this, I find the entire book to be overflowing with support and clarification. And I know that Lujan is well known for his boisterous, infectious laughter. Out of all the books he has offered, this one has some of the most lighthearted laugh out loud moments of them all. It’s very human and endearing.

As it generally goes with all of the works Lujan offers I had some pretty interesting experiences arise moving through the energies and offerings of this book. I would like to pose some questions that arose in my processing of what has occurred.

One day, while still uplifted from what I assume is the borrowed energy from engaging Lujan’s presence via the book, I went into a state that can really only be described as multidimensional. I had had glimpses of this before but never to this extent. I had consumed some tea that had a small-moderate amount of marijuana in it. In the past this tea had a very mild effect upon my being. This time it was like my being fanned out into multiple layers of reality at once. I sensed myself as a highly magnetic torsion field while remaining aware of my surroundings and physical body. I even had a moment in which someone who had recently passed away began to very gently speak truths that I was verbalizing. I listened to the words come out of my mouth but I was not controlling or contriving any of what was being said. It felt like my heart’s interpretation of this persons intentions in relation to the circumstances I was in. All I could do was stay silent and listen.

Question: What caused this intense and expansive state to arise? Clearly this plant’s energy played a role but what lead to such an intense experience? Has it anything to do with my double?

Later in this experience I felt myself being drawn into a trap by some kind of entity. Admittedly it managed to reduce my awareness and definitely gathered some of my energy, however, as I found distance from it I was shown a formation that represented how it entraps awareness. It seemed to be a large whirlpool that spun awareness into a series of smaller whirlpools and then back again. I felt like I was being supported by your presence Lujan. It seemed to be your gentle support that allowed me to recapture myself and begin to perceive part of this being’s nature. I also felt some advice from you on how and why this happened, how to avoid it, and how to best recover.

Question: Is it relevant to ask whether or not this was you? Initially I thought it was my own wisdom but then subtle differences in the language and clarity and the feeling in my body made me feel this was not me. I don’t want to claim something that was not me.

I often find in working with different teachers that I get a boost from the energy their being exudes. It is very helpful and uplifting. When I have had some time and space from the influence of someone with this kind of energetic field of influence I notice a drop in this energy and things become more difficult again. I used to be very frustrated by this as I always hoped some of what I was feeling was my own progress instead of something borrowed. Recently it came to me that the thing to really hone and refine as something to keep beyond a teacher’s energetic upliftment is my belief in myself. I fee more prepared for the ebb and flow of this dynamic now.

Question: How can we tell when we are in our own power and when we are riding on the beneficial waves of energy certain teachers offer? How can we best process the return to our own energy and the obstacles this represents beyond deepening our belief in ourselves?

With warmth and gratitude to both Bill and Lujan,



The origin of one’s experience makes itself available at a certain point in someone’s progress. This shows me where you are but only you can see how to proceed. This is your path. I will watch gently my own life and proceed accordingly.

I can assure you that it wasn’t me. I have definitely influenced you, but it is you that has to undo the things that are right in front of you, to reveal what you can’t see.

The last questions show where you are again. When you are acting from your personal power you will know it. If you have to ask someone else whether you are, then you are not there.

You never leave your energy field of potential. You simply arrive when you realize you are there.

P.S. I am really glad you enjoyed Shadows in the Twilight.

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