Personal Relationships, The Internal Dialogue and Self-Importance

Lujan,

Recently I’ve had two minor incidents with acquaintances of mine. In both cases I felt I was being over whelmed with negativity in the guise of irritation. In one case, a friend of mine asked if I wanted to drive to an event we were attending but I politely declined. She had invited me to go with her, and besides, I don’t care for driving, especially if it’s someone else’s car.

That night on the way home, she became irate as I took a call from another friend who is experiencing a health crisis. Normally I don’t use my phone when I’m with others, but since I had told him to call me in an emergency or if he needed anything, I took the call. My friend who was driving became quite vocal while I was talking on the phone, and finally pulled over to the side of the road explaining loudly that she was simply unable to drive at night Needless to say, I took the wheel. I wouldn’t have minded if she had made me aware of this problem before the trip.

Without going into too much detail, the second incident had to do with another friend, who again was driving, and who became quite irate with me when I couldn’t help her use her iphone so she could make a 911 call on what she felt was a drunk driver.

With my passive personality, I usually don’t say much in these situations. I just “grin and bear it” so to speak. But of course, in both cases, when I got home, I was looping the incidents over and over in my mind, feeling pissed off and wondering how and if I could have handled the situations differently.

How does one stop this kind of internal dialogue?

And are my feelings and this looping simply part and parcel of self-importance?

I want to talk to both women to explain my feelings and have found myself practicing what to say. I know this kind of rehearsing can be futile but I want to be able to express myself simply and succinctly.

Should I stop rehearsing and just “play it by ear?”

The ironic thing is that the woman involved in the second instance is a counselor, and she had been advising me on how to handle incidents where others take your “power.”

Strangely, there is a passage of the Blue Book I have been reading and re-reading for a while now where Malaiyan takes you to the pool, makes an imprint with his hand in the dust, and explains how water is the facilitator, breaking down the “imprint” left on the palm which the earth keeps and the water “reintegrates.”

I’m struggling to understand this section fully, as well as the notion that “what has escaped us…we can never really know because whatever position we stand in our knowing will be different and we can always be sure that something is escaping us. In our stations in life whatever position we are coming from, we always must be aware the obvious is not our strength. What escapes us is where true wisdom lies.”

Perhaps it’s the beauty of the images, but something about this entire portion of the book has pulled me to it, though I can’t seem to fully internalize the information.

Thank you, Lujan, and much love,

—Liz

Liz, it’s very beautiful and ironic in the same breath to repeat to you that what you’ve obtained from the blue book is exactly the same as what is in the little black book.

Allow your circumstances to escape you. Be ever-presently available to that so that the situation will truly unfold in front of you. When in a state of non-validation, confirmation occurs.

Now you know that these passages from Whisperings of the Dragon are adapted to this magical story for you. The only thing of value is what escapes us. As our enigmatic wisdom arises from within, we listen to the unscripted voice, which speaks softly from the heart, and then we listen to what we have never heard in terms of the melodic rhythm of the sounds that give us arrival upon what we’ve never felt; yet we are totally immersed in what we are subtly aware of.

The solidity of our construct in terms of grasping an imprint socially, which is one’s hand placed upon a dusty surface, we leave an impression of our self there through the action of placing it down. But do we really believe that input is us? The imprint is the social belief that the situation is right within its own reflection.

The dust in turn leaves an impression upon the surface of the hand. Then it is washed away by placing it in the most magical liquid substance there is on this planet – water – which can be interpreted as our internally realized omnipresent silence.

But as you know, bearing witness to anything leaves a signature. That signature is recognized and let go of by the water itself. That is why the hand-print cannot hold within itself its own capacity to be solidified within form.

As it is so magically dismembered by the fluidity of the omnipresent factor, which is the representation of our fluid capacity, to be within our not-being of our self, this is what was meant by this passage within The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception.

When one watches the world arrive in front of them, within the validation of somebody’s input, you know that you see what you see and you let go of your acknowledgement of what you have encountered to allow it to become a loving expression of one’s infinite self, internally embarking within that journey through its external expression.

For those of you who haven’t read my first and last book, these words will just seem poetic. For those of you who have, it will be a realization within the substance of that poetry.

Lots of love to you Liz.