Recognizing the Difference Between Feelings and Emotions

Testimonial – Online Shamanic Guidance

Recently I had a privilege of an online tuition with Lujan. I was coming from a place of a lot of drama. Like for many of us, 2017 has been a time of radical changes, and I have been experiencing emotional upheavals and challenges in very personal matters. I would go through my days being on the edge, with a lot of swearing and indulging in emotion-fueled fantasies.

Despite the turmoil, I would keep the thread of a daily practice of Golden Lotus movements. And I would keep looking up to Lujan’s teachings, something high up yet magnetic and steadfast.  When an occasion arose, I booked the online training. In a preparation to this, I also bought The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception, which I got as the last of his books. Then – my longing to embrace these teachings was cut open, again. I was keen on all of Lujan’s books, but this one is so special in its imagery and the personal accounts. It is chilling, harsh, uncompromising and utterly beautiful.

I was in tears to start the first session. I felt shame. It was so nice as Lujan recognized the pain I was going through. It was clear though that my heartbreaks will not be the subject of our conversation. Not surprisingly, the topic Lujan chose was feelings vs. emotions. As the focus changed my agendas were coming to surface. For example, I would complain how the character of each session is different, how my own charge was reflected and that I wish to go beyond that. I have missed to open up to a new way of communication and I missed to recognize other passages too.

It felt I could not reconcile the place I was coming from with his paradigm. It is one thing embracing something intellectually and another thing getting it under the skin. Actually, all that talking about emotions made me angry! I did not know what to make out of it. It is indeed a strange schism thinking of something and finding oneself in the state of the opposite.

I got stuck with The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception too. I could not get through the passage on the Parable of Dog, the suffering described, the perceived perversity. I decided to get a paper version too, for easier reference and to blank out that story. Then something happened – a new encounter, aha moment… I realized that the focus on feelings, not transmitted to emotions, touches the same principles referenced in the hieroglyph of inner light, opposed to the hieroglyph of haunted awareness, the doorways to many realizations.

A new way opened, not giving up something, but getting back to something, endorsing the “natural process of our passage through life”. My main resistance during our consultation was hanging on the colours and energy of emotions, the nature of a Scorpio. Then I felt it is not about depriving, but different awareness, indescribable, untouchable, yet saturated like the imagery of the art of stalking parallel perception.

One night after our sessions (it was the moon eclipse), I woke up crying realizing how I project my program of betrayal, waiting to be betrayed, and did so on Lujan, and how he did not use it against me. Then I thought I got a tiny step closer to crawling, walking and standing like an adult human being.

The meetings with Lujan were very strong experience for me. The sessions helped me get closer to the teachings in his books and interviews. I learned to better trust my intuition.  I feel so grateful that he helped me navigate the energetic shifts currently happening. Lujan, I am bowing to you in deep gratitude. I hope to see you soon.

Zuzana,
United Kingdom