Testimonial – Golden Lotus Workshop
Dear Lujan,
It has been a while and yet it feels like yesterday that we were learning the movements of Lo Ban Pai. I have found it quite difficult to sit in front of the computer and draw these words across the screen, but here they finally are.
Words are becoming most elusive. I think partly because they just cannot aptly describe what I am feeling. That is the thing. Words are being replaced by an intensity of feeling that is filled with a knowingness that I cannot grasp (it feels like I am expanding inside and then popping. The popping is an Aha!! moment but about what I don’t know). So I just let it all sink in slowly beneath the skin.
My experience with you was a very gentle one. My issues certainly came to the fore (and I resonate with everything that came up for individuals in the group too) but their landing was soft in comparison to what I am used to. It seems that I was able to hold myself in a much more gentle and compassionate space and I am sure this was infused by your beautiful non-judging energy that was holding us all.
I love the form. I love everything about it. I love the movements, the way it moves me, the feeling I access inside, the way it takes a hold of my mind and summons forth a deep silence. I love that it came in to being for all of us in the group. In one way I feel like I am losing myself and yet I also feel that I am arriving home to myself.
I feel the strength of my presence increasing with each practice. The more I practice it, the more joy creeps out of my heart and slowly slowly moves outwards. It is lovely. I see it now. It is slow and gentle, not sudden and cathartic. but the direction is the same, and this is what I was holding within when I came to do the workshop.
I wanted to find my way again to accessing joy in my life. It is happening little by little, each day, not measurable but noticeable. What a wonderful lesson in patience and surrender! Thank you.
So much love,
Thank you for your grace in holding the group.
Hope to see you in Barcelona.
Karen,
South Africa.
Beautiful sharing, Chris! Lots of love
Sweet Karen. I was thinking of you just the other day, missing your wonderfully kind eyes and gentle, calming presence. Thank you for writing this. It brought back joyous memories. I remember a gift you gave me that is very precious to me. We were sitting together and my mind was seeking for some social banter, and was quickly getting caught up in an old and deeply patterned thought loop of panicky neediness, and I said “I don’t know what to say,” and you told me “you don’t have to say anything at all.” And we sat there in silence for a time, together. I felt, and still feel, such joyful and deep gratitude for this. Like receiving something I’ve been waiting for for so long, only I didn’t know I was waiting for it until you gave it. Such a precious gift it was. Such a precious gift you are. Thank you Karen. You make my heart smile.
Thank you Karen,
Reading your post reminds me of the workshop, the comfortable and loving space, but most of all your energy so soft, loving and patient.
thank you, Karen for this post. Yes, the power of gentleness is very unique to this work. In my experience it doesn`t create the usual resistance and thus bypasses most habitual defence-reflexes and reaches the core which is just ever so happy to be nourished by that energy. Very powerful.