Testimonial – Golden Lotus Workshop

Dear Lujan,

It has been a while and yet it feels like yesterday that we were learning the movements of Lo Ban Pai. I have found it quite difficult to sit in front of the computer and draw these words across the screen, but here they finally are.

Words are becoming most elusive. I think partly because they just cannot aptly describe what I am feeling. That is the thing. Words are being replaced by an intensity of feeling that is filled with a knowingness that I cannot grasp (it feels like I am expanding inside and then popping. The popping is an Aha!! moment but about what I don’t know). So I just let it all sink in slowly beneath the skin.

My experience with you was a very gentle one. My issues certainly came to the fore (and I resonate with everything that came up for individuals in the group too) but their landing was soft in comparison to what I am used to. It seems that I was able to hold myself in a much more gentle and compassionate space and I am sure this was infused by your beautiful non-judging energy that was holding us all.

I love the form. I love everything about it. I love the movements, the way it moves me, the feeling I access inside, the way it takes a hold of my mind and summons forth a deep silence. I love that it came in to being for all of us in the group. In one way I feel like I am losing myself and yet I also feel that I am arriving home to myself.

I feel the strength of my presence increasing with each practice. The more I practice it, the more joy creeps out of my heart and slowly slowly moves outwards. It is lovely. I see it now. It is slow and gentle, not sudden and cathartic. but the direction is the same, and this is what I was holding within when I came to do the workshop.

I wanted to find my way again to accessing joy in my life. It is happening little by little, each day, not measurable but noticeable. What a wonderful lesson in patience and surrender! Thank you.

So much love,
Thank you for your grace in holding the group.
Hope to see you in Barcelona.

South Africa.

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