This application for the 2023 Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Andrew. To offer your support for Andrew, please leave a comment at the end of this post.

Thank you for the beautiful scholarship opportunity

I sporadically write inspired poems. The first verse arrives upon me like a wind. It’s subtle, but I feel it. It touches me.  Once I catch it, I ask for inspiration and enter into a meditative state, and the poem writes itself.  They are all love poems to God, and all of them reflect my yearning to know myself by letting go so that life may arrive upon me.

What does it mean to whisper
Upon the ear of eternity?
Follow me down the path
of an uncompromising heart
And get lost in the presence of boundless knowing.
How do you be fully present
From the center
While the world comes at you,
Through you
And around you like streaming comets,
Beckoning your attention to be set adrift
On emotional rapture?
I’ve come seeking,
And in the process of living
Found there’s no answers,
Just living.
Just life, ever giving of sweet mystery.
Can you get past the desire of love
And simply be?
Can you stand at the edge of the abyss
And allow the emptiness to fill you,
With the truth of you?
You’ll never find God while thinking,
Only by surrender.
So I fall,
Like the ignition point of a star,
I relinquish myself
And emerge
An endless light…
(Written 1/2/22)

At the start of every year, I ask the Beloved what the theme of the year is for me.  The theme of this year is Austerity.

It’s a strong word.  It scares me a little, but I need it, I need to hear it, I need to embrace it, I need to surrender into the spaciousness of my being so that I can step up within myself deeper into the immense softness of my own personal power.

This has been a continuous journey since 2008 when in a dark night of the soul I asked God for deliverance.  I asked to be a vessel of God’s love, to be of service, and for God to look within me and elevate me as the Beloved saw fit.

Immediately it felt like I was hit by etheric lighting in my crown.  All of the hair on my body stood up, and I was buzzing in every cell of my body.  My whole life changed in that moment of surrender.  Little i was introduced to big I, and he had a lot to say.

Year by year, I was shown love, grace, and humility.  What I thought I knew was taken away and replaced with authenticity.  Who I thought I was was demolished, and I was left with something tender. Layer by layer, it was all taken away from me to the point of being homeless for six months alongside my now wife,  and every time I prayed, the same answer came back, stay the course despite my surroundings.

It was bad, and all I could do was surrender to the flow of life until it turned.  Hard, beautiful lessons.  I learned how absolutely strong I was for the first time in my life.  My life has become this magnificent spiral pushing me past my barriers and conceptions of myself till I’m left on the edge of bardo.  Looking in at the unmanifest looking back at me, as me becoming more true to myself and less true to the world we live in.

This process reveals itself within the movement systems and verbal oscillations of Lujan’s communication style.  The movements center and bind deeply to my core, while the words elevate and shift me in an unexpected manner that puts me back someplace else to look slightly ‘off-center,’ and thus, I’m constantly recalibrating and being re-anchored back into my depths.  What a practice!!

I’d been looking for an authentic inner work system being taught by an authentic, heartfelt teacher.  I knew Lujan was genuine when my wife brought me a drink during one of the online workshops and got a brief glimpse of him.  She said he made her uncomfortable because she felt nothing when she saw him.

My wife is a finely tuned empath. She feels everything deeply and passionately. I knew it the moment she said it. Lujan is actually still inside. He’s become the observer living authentically.  He has entered bardo and has become the unmanifested fullness of love looking back at me.

I seek to continue going deeper into this work.  It demands much of me.  It demands I peel back time from all the places that I fail to gather myself back into my center and be present.  It brings me closer to my authentic self in a very austere manner, and all I can do is hang on as I surrender once more and fall ever more deeply into the arms of love.

Thanks for being a part of my beautiful journey, and thanks for listening.


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