This application for the 2019 Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Spectral. This year the recipient will receive either attendance at the Gravity Series Workshop or participation in the Online Spiritual Guidance program. If you would like to offer your support for Spectral please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

Lujan opened my heart when nothing else in the world ever could. Seeing my own shadow allowed me to choose the truth that is continually emerging from within. All of the deepest magic and beauty which is now so clearly interwoven with my daily life experience is due to this great awakening of my heart.

There is so much gratitude and awe that I feel for this experience, and for Lujan who opened me up to myself so expertly. The very path I walk upon, which reflects my heart back to me, is due to the infinitely magical touch of Lujan’s attention at that crucial turning point. To apply this gratitude, and the internal emptiness surrounding it appropriately is an ever-deepening process of refinement.

Thanks to Lujan, I was finally able to clearly drop my resentment toward this world that we live in, despite how harsh and distorted it often is. When I stopped resenting the world, an enormous reservoir of internal energy was released from somewhere deep inside.

This tsunami of potential and power washed over and through me and my life over a period of many years, transforming everything from the deepest level, and opening my awareness up to an unfolding of the great mystery of life. Words cannot explain the beauty and magic of this understanding or the depths of gratitude that I feel for this awakening. Thank you, Lujan.

I am at a point now where I understand how that initial resentment in my heart had formed, because of a wound in my inner child containing the belief in my own inadequacy. This wound has been deeply healing and resolving within myself through a patient stillness which inwardly gathers gravity. This inner stillness has allowed for an empty perspective to bear witness to my inner being, which brings deep peace and unconditional love into my inner world.

However, when I turn to face the world around me, as a collective of human beings and the systems we create, I notice that this old ingrained wound of inadequacy is still deeply influencing my journey in the world. It hasn’t allowed me to find my way of being fully supported by my place within the collective. This has consistently blocked my ability to travel, so I haven’t been able to see Lujan again since 2010, despite so much positive transformation and deep longing.

I long to peel back the layers of illusion, so much more deeply. Training again with Lujan is something I know will act as an immensely powerful catalyst, for the deepest reservoirs of my heart to unlock themselves, allowing deeper service and embrace of the world more completely.

My life circumstances at this time are showing me an impending need to open up into a much deeper level of service and selflessness than I have ever thought possible. In all humbleness, this next step in my journey is exciting but deeply daunting at the same time.

I sense a deeper level of heart awareness which is awaiting my arrival within. There is nothing I can find at this point that would act to break me through to that space better than learning some more with Lujan.

So much love and gratitude,


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