This application for the 2017 Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Simon. If you would like to offer your support for Simon please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

When I looked within for this application I felt that offering a glimpse into my daily practices had the potential to communicate my readiness to begin applying shamanic movements to my spiritual work. I offer now a simple exploration of my work with The Medicine Wheel of Wisdom from Lujan’s book Whisperings of the Dragon:

The poison dragon is as such possessed with poison and can’t be trusted.

Engaging my family online I encounter attempts to manipulate me with a bid for sympathy, self importance and victimization. This pattern has always challenged my interactions with my family. I am about to write a response that presents itself as light and accepting, but then I catch a subtle undercurrent. I am being malicious. Deep down there is a dark, hidden intention to cause guilt for poor behavior, to shame them for applying such tactics. I realize that it wouldn’t have worked. They wouldn’t have been fooled by this tactic, only wounded and defensive, even if they didn’t know why.

The Poison Dragon is preying upon my awareness. I withdraw from the conversation and wait for my heart to clear. I silently observe and watch this influence recede. Something wonderful takes its place. My love for my family arises. My wonder at having incarnated with them and the wisdom they represent becomes clear. I am able to return with the care for my family that is my true nature. I know the poison dragon with a slightly greater bit of depth. I strengthen my resolve to be watchful.

A white tiger is filled with rage and anger and deep resentments that wish to inflict its cruelty.

I am the father of a toddler. I have worked for many years with anger. I feel I have made great progress, and yet, my son regularly brings me to the aspects of myself I have not yet confronted.

Suddenly one day, he throws some metal pots and a toy wooden knife at my face. Pain shoots through my head. A rush of resentment and anger arrives. I angrily yell his name. The desire for an angry power struggle begins to overshadow love and understanding.

I catch something trying to add to what I’m feeling. I sense suggestions that I physically confront my son and remove his toy kitchenware with malice and vengefulness. I hear whispering that tell me to forget his innocence and to punish his insensitivity.

I choose not to follow this pressure. I am fortunate that my partner is there to hold a space of compassion for us both. I leave the room and The White Tiger’s presence is revealed. It is causing the feeling of my heart to shrink like something is gripping the inside of my chest.

Briefly, the white tiger caught me. An image of it prowling pridefully around me for years surfaces within my inner sight. I have work to do.

Then there is the black widow, who is treacherous and lurks deep within her secrets and shadows of deception, laying waste to everything, bringing ruin even to her own self to achieve that outcome.

Everyday I reaffirm my intention to drop the internal dialogue. I work to reverse my gaze inwards. I begin my day with the intention to arrive upon my heart. I seek the feeling of tuning my ears to what I cannot hear. Sometimes it is immediately successful and sometimes it takes the first half of the day to even get a glimpse of this state.

Still, the internal dialogue returns. I watch the effect of its return upon my heart, my body, my energy. Sparring with this influence I can see what it does to me, to my awareness, to the feeling of the moment at hand. I can see it making it very difficult for my true self to be within this body.

The Black Widow has arrived. I very calmly let this understanding sink in. This is something external at play. I have to be careful not to analyze it, I must only observe it very gently. I can sense a deception. The feeling of familiarity, the misguided sense that I am listening to my own voice is extremely strong. I gently rest in the knowing that I am listening to something that is imitating me. This is not my voice, my genuine wisdom.

This influence begins to retreat. My heart brightens. I feel silence return and an image of a dark spider retreating back into the shadows arises within me. I know I will overcome this influence but I don’t know when…

I do know that learning Lo Ban Pai is an important part of my journey, my path to silence. I wonder…is this my chance?

Thanks for reading, good luck to all the other applicants!

Much love,




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