In early 2007 I participated in Lujan’s Dragon’s Tears workshop. I had been doing Tensegrity for about 5 years on my own. I felt good about these exercises but not really energised by them. The Dragon’s Tears however make me hot and I can feel the energy, especially in my hands. It’s the first time I can really feel ‘energy’. It feels hot, I can feel a ball of energy in my hands when I’m doing the Tears and when I put my hot hands on my stomach I feel the energy transfer. A week or so after the learning the movements in the workshop I started to feel as If I had been ‘ironed inside.’ Something hot was making me smooth.

There were a million things I wanted to ask Lujan after that first workshop so I asked if I could come back to Bali and see him. A few weeks later I did so.

I wanted to learn more. Were there more techniques or exercises that make you powerful?
I mean you get power by doing stuff like exercises and not doings and shamanic business? don’t you?
When I first arrived Lujan showed me more steps to the Thunder Dance, the first part of which we learned in the first Dragon’s Tears workshop. I was delighted.

Later on, one afternoon after a day where I was feeling like …like you know how you feel when you think that you really don’t know what you are doing and your life is really a mess?… Lujan showed up unexpectedly at my room.

It was pouring with tropical rain. As he said later he ‘jumped me’. He said ‘let’s cut the crap and get to what’s really going on here.’ (Or words to that effect.)

It was hopeless trying to hide anything from him it was like he could ‘see’ through me, I tried desperately to parry his questions and precise and accurate observations about me and my behaviour. I was even copying his body language in an attempt to curry favour in a difficult spot. He told me to cut that out straight away. He said I was waisting my time trying to play control games with him and indeed with anyone. He told me I was waisting all the power I had upholding my behaviours and the task is to let all that stuff go. Other personal stuff I had to admit to him is just too embarrassing to talk about, or certainly write about here. He had it out of me in about 2 minutes flat.
He showed me that the task is a very personal journey with the heart. Forget about power techniques, change the way you behave. Forget about yourself and think of other people. He told me watch my body language because my intent, my energy was directed through that body language. At that moment I realized something I had wondered about for years …what the hell is intent!? I made the connection, my body language was my secret intent whilst I pretended to myself that I had another ‘noble’ intent or worse that I didn’t know what intent was. Now when I think about my body language I fell like I know one small but important thing about my intent and how I am directing it. If you are looking for techniques just this awareness alone is real work. To be aware all the time, in the moment what you are intending, what are you doing with your body. I am embarrassed to think how transparent I must have looked to Lujan.
At one stage I said to him I was too lazy to change and he said well that’s just a lie look how industrious you are, look at all the work you do and the work you do to be who you are now.

The Nagual’s blow is a shocking thing. In all of ten? minutes

I had been clinically and ruthlessly exposed. He left saying there is nothing to do, just let all that stuff go. After he left I wanted to run away to get the hell out in case he came back and had another go at me. Then I immediately recalled just how many times I had done that in my life. Lujan said to me that young men can be filled with emotional turmoil but someone older like me couldn’t use that excuse anymore…..I had to face it. He was right I came to see him because this was my last chance to change.

I had to face the real me.

Before too long Lujan was back (figuratively) patting me and saying don’t worry…….have something to eat…..The last thing I felt like at that stage was eating……..I had planned to go and see Lujan many times to learn stuff and now I know I have so much to do that it would be pointless until I have done a lot of work on myself …and this I have just begun.

It’s funny because Lujan is a lovely kind person. I thought naguals would have to be a wild, dangerous, ruthless individuals, you know like the Don Juan of the books. Lujan is so kind and loving that initially it doesn’t seem possible that he is the Jaguar Nagual. Believe me I’ve seen those claws, he is.

I have one final thing to say and that is if you think you need analysing or need to see a psychiatrist and can’t afford the 5-10 years or the thousands and thousands of dollars they cost just get in touch with Lujan. He will have you sorted in about 10 minutes.

Melbourne, Australia