Testimonial
When I came to Parallel Perception more than one year ago, I just followed a link at Google where the name Lujan Matus was displayed, while I was looking for a decent forum that explains more about Tensegrity and the Inner Teachings of Juan Matus/Carlos Castaneda.
I’ve instinctly known that someone who is calling himself Lujan Matus got to have some Power, Knowledge and Integrity and of course this name raised various pictures, illusions, imaginations and fixed ideas in my mind : I expected to find a kind of reincarnated warrior soul which is directly related to the lineage Castaneda describes.
Well Lujan is, but in a complete different manner my illusions were juggling. It is no secret that I was aggressive, arrogant, demanding, being on a kind of ‘mission’ to free myself even if it would take some damage. I always used to provoke and to start power struggling against authorities (my private ‘Campaign for Justice’), but while acting that way, I never faced the fundament of my attitude that was an imprint that relates directly to the imprints laid within my family origin and the conflicts I had with my father- the place where a Foreign Installment intrudes my awareness.
I meant to know all about psychologic concepts and spiritual aspects due to my skills I earned during my own therapeutic process, my spiritual experiences and adapting Castaneda’s concepts, but deep inside I felt that there was a missing link and Lujan eventually could show me what it is that I miss.
From the first moment on Lujan scotched each of my attempts to undermine his integrity and the benefits given, but in the same breath he always left the door open to recognize what it is that directed my purposes and what caused so much pain in my life:
The non-acceptance of my deepest fear I was hiding behind a mask of aggressiveness, of scholarship, and pleasantness at last cloaking the true power of my heart : the pain of being identified with guilt, fear and worthlessness.
Lujan talked to my Inner Child which is my heart, the center point of his efforts. Instead of another concept another theory or dogma inside of another one, he simply revealed my judgements , limitations and justifications which are the walls I learned to built up to defend a position that actually doesn’t exist at all : an image that I have imposed on my true self.
He expected nothing but sincerity and impartiality for to respect myself as the one I am, without compulsion, without judging.
How could I forget who I am? There’s nothing to fear!
It takes courage to face that self-imposed image and to embrace all that which lies behind & beyond, for to realize that there isn’t something that can be confronted, but set free. So I understood and laid my weapons and shields down for to unlearn what I’d learned before.
What hits me most, is the moment I was talking to Lujan directly via phone : a warm and light , buoyant voice came to my ears, humorous and exceedingly kind. For a moment I was really confused to perceive the personality behind this powerful presence we all can see through his writings: A Gentleman!
We intuitively recognized each other as friends that evening.
Andre G
Berlin, Germany