This application for the 2019 Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Therese. This year the recipient will receive either attendance at the Gravity Series Workshop or participation in the Online Spiritual Guidance program. If you would like to offer your support for Therese please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

A chance meeting, this is how I met Lujan. I knew nothing of anything he had to say, and yet when he spoke, it truly felt as though I was remembering.

There is a moment in my childhood when I must have been around four or five years old, living basically in the forests of northern Idaho, USA. I was leaning against a tree, sitting on a floor of moss. I felt so at peace, so a part of everything that was around me. The forest was my friend, and I was the forests friend. I felt a distance from what was being taught by my family and knew the strength that resided inside of me.

Sharing space and conversation with Lujan woke this memory that lay dormant within me. Only after having been able to share physical space and conversation with Lujan did I dive into his written work.

The first time reading through The Art of Stalking Parallel Perception I felt I was reading a language that was foreign to me. I would reread sentences, pages even! I was exhausted when I was done. Months later I reread it, and I was so surprised! I felt I was reading an entirely different book! It was much easier to understand and completely uprooted my whole way of being.

In between that time I did read a few Carlos Castaneda books, which were entertaining and a bit frightening. The hidden agendas that were seeping out of me at any and all confrontations with people I cared and loved for or not was ridiculous! The misuse and confusion around my sexual center was appalling to me! Everything I thought that made me ​me​ was slowly fading away.

How was I supposed to connect with anyone?

What did this mean for my marriage?

I must admit, the glory and strength I felt when Lujan was around turned into darkness and loneliness. I felt that he was irresponsible to leave me with such information and I felt betrayed and angry. This feeling ebbed and flowed through me for months before I ordered Whisperings of the Dragon and Awakening the Third Eye.

I figured this is how I could talk further with Lujan, and do you know what he told me to do next? He told me to stand outside in the dark at 2 am in the morning! I so appreciated every time Carlos got his assemblage point smacked by Don Juan and I felt this is what these books did for me. He told me a lot more than to stand alone with the world in the dark, but it was the hardest part for me and it is something to this day I feel anxiety with.

My interactions with others was what changed the most. I was no longer paralyzed but was able to feel what I describe as vulnerability to the present moment of a situation. I appreciated that I was able to feel love for others the way that comes so naturally to me for trees and plants and my children. At times these were fleeting, but at least they were there. I could check myself in situations that I was being inappropriate, and bounce out of it smoothly.

I would love to attend the Gravity Series Workshop in Sedona for a number of reasons! The warmth, beauty, and energy of both Sedona and Lujan is a massive pull. Lujan once said I needed more love in my life. I still don’t really know how to do that. To learn to recalibrate my mindset towards a heart-based approach would be lovely, and seems to be a way to get more love in my life!

Opening up energetic whirlpools around my body to deliver deep mysteries and become etherically connected to an intangible world?! This. Sounds. Amazing. My body is so hungry for this. I feel it while dancing in my kitchen while making meals and doing dishes.

The strongest reason though is to honor the memory of me as a child, who is she? I so desire to live with that feeling of peace and strength all of the time, and kind of think it’s possible. Undertaking tuition in Lo Ban Pai with Lujan Matus seems like a path to that possibility.

I cannot end this application without expressing my deepest thanks to Lujan. I know your position in this world Lujan would not be the same without us who are striving to remember, but it must not always be a comfortable position to be in. Thank you for placing yourself so available and so open, and thank you for delivering in such a childlike way. Your bubbly behavior is contagious, and even though it has been years since I have heard your laugh, I hear it still as I type these words, and it so lovely! Thank you.

sedona-workshop-scholarship Therese

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