Testimonial – Online Shamanic Guidance

I have lived my life in fear. The fear permeated my body, froze my heart and my voice, and let my social self rule my life. I was surreptitious, concealed my fear lest my weakness be known in this predatory world, and tried to control all that came towards me hopelessly trying to avoid being hurt. I wanted to be safe so badly, safe from people mostly, that I trapped myself and forgot who I was.

“You want to be loved and appreciated,” said Lujan, and those few words spoken with a voice so filled with kindness began to unravel all my concealment. And I do, for kindness and love are what I treasure in life. For a brief instant, in the intense truth of that moment, I experienced grace and I knew my heart more fully than I’ve ever done before. All the pain I’ve experienced, all the sorrow and regret drifted away.

I have studied Lo Ban Pai with Lujan before, and each time a small layer of my social self has melted away, but during our last online sessions his words reverberated more deeply than ever before.

“A lot of people are beginning to experience a rapture,” he mentioned, as we spoke of what being in a state of grace really means. He explained how each situation I encounter is like the beads in a mala, each person being my mantra as I arrive.

“Watch what you bring to the table,” he explained (and I was reminded of the time Don Juan spoke to Carlos about the table being the Tonal).

I saw how my interactions with others were filled with judgement and anger, a frightened child who didn’t believe in the world and brought to the table the perfect ingredients to keep my heart filled with more sorrow and fear.

“This is how you fall from grace into sin, and then you are in the wrong place at the right time.”

Being in the wrong place at the right time and being in the right place at the wrong time is the most profound teaching Lujan has ever spoken to me about. The elegant and powerful simplicity of how Adharma and Dharma interweave with concepts such as being in a state of grace, with how each mantra, or interaction with others, becomes a Sutra as the power of one’s inner silence enlivens when we remain within love and kindness- the rapture of being- has transformed my life.

“You cannot avoid suffering. The world is a harsh place. You must be like the compassionate Buddha, gently bowing to what presents itself, feeling the pain while never losing the loving kindness that abides in the heart for then your tears will be healing and you will not fall into sin.”

I now know, and most importantly, now I understand how to be and not do (Lujan explains in Whisperings of the Dragon the art of being, knowing and not-doing) so that I do not forget who I am.

“Knowing when you are in the wrong place at the right time and being in the right place at the wrong time is an art, and a discipline that is most difficult to master.”

Indeed, over the following days I’ve watched myself, checking to see what I bring to the table as each bead along my path, each mantra, reminds me not to forget myself.

I remember who I am. I want to be loved and appreciated, and I want to love and appreciate with kindness the mantras that life brings before me, for when I do, I experience something so beautiful within that sometimes beautiful tiny sparks begin to dance around me and turn to tiny little holographic golden lotus flowers reminding me that true magic abides within a loving heart.

Life may bring difficult times, sorrow and tears, yet now I finally feel like I’m alive.

My deepest love and gratitude to you, Lujan. Thank you.

New Zealand

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