Testimonial – Dragon’s Tears Workshop in the Tibetan Dzogchen Center
I had the fantastic opportunity to attend Lujan Matus’ Dragon’s Tears workshop in August of 2015. In only seven days’ time, Lujan teaches the entire movement series, Dragon’s Tears, which is the basic set of movements that comprises Lo Ban Pai. I found the movements to be graceful, not demanding, yet powerful. Never have I sweated so much without strenuous movement.
On just the first day, my body felt toned, heavy but happy. At first, I was energized, then I would collapse and deeply sleep during afternoon naps. The pattern of being energized, then sleeping deeply in the afternoon continued for the next two or three days.
Lujan has often mentioned reducing the social self, wrestling it to the floor and leaving it there. On the second day, he knocked mine loose for yet another round. These moments are always difficult to live through for understanding energy and intention is difficult for our social self, but Lujan addresses the problem with friendship and forgiveness, which affords the confused one a chance to fully understand what is happening.
I’ve never met a person who can so easily and artfully address a difficult situation with compassion yet without compromise. What a beautiful example Lujan presents of how problems can be resolved before they become a difficult situation.
At one point in the workshop, I could swear I heard my hands singing. It occurred just after I felt the energy of the movements under my hands, as if my hands were riding a wave, being gently propelled. Lujan explained a dynamic that occurs with our energy and offered the image of a witch flying on a broom. The energy comes from behind and offers propulsion. At one point, I actually felt this energy come from behind me and caress my midsection. In other movement series of Lo Ban Pai, I’ve felt this same caress.
These movements truly do put one in touch with one’s own personal power. It is almost tangible, like heat or cold, although there is no temperature within it that I have discerned. The movements seem to open the lower dantien into an empty space where the energy is free to sway in a gentle breeze.
This wonderful feeling of emptiness continues throughout the next day. The Tears are beginning to flow a bit easier. Lujan mentions that I look twenty years younger. What a great compliment for a woman! It is also a confirmation of the power of Dragon’s Tears. It is certainly working this magic on Lujan. At one moment, I wanted to get closer to him to confirm that he was wearing makeup. I swear he looks younger and younger every time I see him.
The next day is a difficult one. It is very hot and the ocean’s breeze is nonexistent. I feel irritated but cannot define why. On this day, circumstances conspire to knock loose the social self of several other students. This is as difficult to witness as it is to experience. One wants to comfort and support the one going through this, but Lujan’s loving strength provides enough support to allow his students to understand, face, and release the black magic we’re working on ourselves though upholding the social structures, wasting time with unimportant issues or manipulating the environment and those in it.
Lujan often speaks of confirmations from the environment and how internal silence guides one to know where to be and when. I’m still working on the internal silence — it is a years-long battle — but I’m finding I can “hear” things I’ve never before heard. I had separated myself to eat my lunch and perched on nearby steps. After a few minutes, a little gecko appeared on a rock to my side.
I heard it say, “You got couscous?” I giggled, thinking my internal dialogue can get so silly at times. Within the next few seconds, something occurred that caused me to set my bowl of couscous and fruit on the step and walk away. When I returned a few minutes later, I found the little gecko had crawled into my bowl and was eating couscous! He ate my banana, too. Who knew lizards ate fruit?
Throughout the conference, Lujan offers advice on many different subjects, like health and healing, relationships, how to follow one’s heart. It is at once practical and abstract. His advice on physical health has brought me physical relief I did not believe was possible.
He speaks of situations like when one is dealing with a difficult emotional situation, advising us to ask the question: Is it more difficult to be harsh or to be wounded and loving?
Another pearl of wisdom was to love an insecurity — of your own or your partner’s — until the insecurity disappears. The simple beauty of Lujan’s guidance continues to echo within many instances of my life.
I am so grateful to have Lujan’s guidance along the shaman’s path. His teachings flow so easily between profound and serious to gut-splitting laughter that one is left with a deep love for this life’s experience, here on Earth, which also has a way of rearranging itself while in Lujan’s presence.
Visiting with the nagual has no equal when it comes to understanding one’s self and what it means to find internal silence, to know what truly is personal power. His workshops and private tuition sessions are like no other. I’m hooked. Magic happens!
Gwendolyn
USA
Bless!
its easier being harsh.
Wow! Beautiful. Just beautiful. Ripples of love and joy. Thank you
Lovely ubuntu, Luma.
You’ve reminded me of my last sight of Lujan.
Some of the students had gathered flowers on the last day of the workshop and made a lei with them. When they presented it to him, Lujan shared it with everyone. As I left the dzogchen center, I turned around to get one last view of Lujan. He was sitting on the little stage with flower petals surrounding his feet.
What a beautiful act of communion and reverence
The lizard having fruit, daring to taste the nectar…love it 😉
Lujan’s teachings and words have a way of weaving themselves into a magical moment that illuminates such deep and profound knowings it blows my mind into happy, joyful neutrinos.
From being wounded…
I learned that as a female I had an intense need to be validated and appreciated, and thought that this meant being loved. By being wounded I had to let go of that and find my own worth. Yet I realized this in itself was a contradiction, for my worth is only dictated by the moment thus in reality it is nothing, until it’s something. It is what I apply of myself to the moment that gives me my worth and sometimes silence is what has the most worth.
I learned that my heart in what I value the most, so I must make it my general in the Art of War. I must stand firm behind it and not allow the onslaughts of this matrix to compromise my kindness. This is my Art of War. Lujan describes this in Whisperings of the Dragon in ‘the gun has only one bullet.’ By standing firm is the only way I can maintain my relationship with the omnipresent factor, which that is all that I have ever sought.
Love and happiness are the flowers that naturally bloom from this. I cannot create love and happiness, only create the silence that humbly invites them into my life. Nor can I cannot hold on to love and happiness. They just bloom in the moment as a result of my heart being buoyant and free. And I cannot be free if I attach conditions to what brings me love and happiness.
There is an Art of Gardening the Wildflowers of Love and Happiness. It’s called Lo Ban Pai.
Thank you, Elizabeth and Luma, for speaking to what comes to make me realize that “wounded” and “weak” are not synonymous. Holding on to the wound for long periods of time only feeds one’s self-pity, self-importance. Examining the wound, acknowledging that human behavior can wound does not make one weak. Releasing it teaches you how to return to a place of stability. Everyone wants love and happiness, and that doesn’t make one weak, either. Lujan’s advice is bringing me to realize that two seemingly opposite dynamics can exist within the same scene, within the same person, both strength and kindness.
The last time my heart was deeply wounded I learned so much. It felt horrible and it lasted for months. Yet peeling away the layers gave me so much insight. I’ve accepted that life’s greatest lessons often come with quite uncomfortable scenarios for my self-importance. If anything, that’s what took the greatest hit. Beneath it I found more strength and clarity about being inaccessible to that which hunts through the tongue and actions of others. There is now a part of me that feels more firmly stationed to observe what arrives that would not have become so solid had I not had to work so that I would not loose my heart and retaliate towards the person who brought me such a hard gift.
Gwen, your description of Lujan’s compassion without compromise is the foundation of what I see as inaccessibility. It springs like a fountain of joyful food for the heart.
Lots of love,
Luma
I guess what threw me was the word “wounded.” That word has developed a negative connotation in the last few years after so many individuals in the 90’s started talking about past traumas and their wounds. Then there was a kind of backlash against the word. Saying you were wounded labeled you a passive victim. I guess one was supposed to “suck it up” and get over it. So I’ve been walking around with this same negative feeling about the word, thinking I shouldn’t feel “wounded”. There I go, thinking again….Maybe it’s more about accepting our wounds so they can heal, kind of like airing a physical wound so it can heal.
Dorothea, you’ve explained exactly how I understood “easier to be wounded and loving.” The simple truth is that one is hurt. Lashing out in response is just more hurt being passed around. It’s how we’ve learned to deny our heart’s voice.
yes.
Thank you, Gwendolyn for that post
“Is it easier to be harsh or wounded and loving?”
I got that reply to a question during the August-workshop, too. The moment I recieved it it was all simple and obvious. Yes of course! Vulnerability feels initially very uncomfortable. The more I moved into that attitude of firstly admitting to myself, that things do matter and sometimes hurt and mean something to me, it got harder and harder every day to comply with the social tough-game of “that`s all right/ok/”normal””. I`m less and less up to compromise and close my heart again. So, being harsh saved me to feel my vulnerability and was therefore easier, but the prize in numbing my heart and foregoing my truth and being ashmed of that was too high. I`m still practicing the Dragons Tears most days and feel the silence growing. Beauty, grace, stillness grows from this set of movements.
This is beautiful, Gwendolyn. I wonder, though, what is meant by the question, “Is it more difficult to be harsh or wounded and loving?”
Thank you for a moving and powerful testimonial.
I understand it. “Is it easier to be harsh or wounded and loving?”
Well normally i would say wounded and loving, but since i end up being wounded and loving, in a emotional drama involving family members. I would say compromising yourself by being harsh and hurtful is harder to do. I dont play thoes games, so i will always loose the battle.. but I will always win the fight… The fight to stay true, no matter the influence. Thats harder to do..
What an awesome description!