This application for the 2019 Parallel Perception Scholarship was submitted by Seini. This year the recipient will receive either attendance at the Gravity Series Workshop or participation in the Online Spiritual Guidance program. If you would like to offer your support for Seini please leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

Life happens.. and when it does so in ways that are traumatic or highest in learning, I seek Lujan and the most current evolution of his teachings.

I do this without fail every time. I had first heard Lujan’s name from a friend who knew Lujan and who had a deep desire to help me because they could perceive that I was in pain and suffering from my own life. The life that I was leading and the choices that I was making for myself were so complex and complicated that it occurred to them that perhaps I might benefit from connecting with Lujan. It was that simple – we were having coffee at a cafe, two friends listening to one another as we had done many many times in the past, enlivening a process almost long-forgotten. In the moment of remembering our connection, the inspiration of Lujan’s energy came in and found its way into our shared connection. And then, I knew.

After that beginning, I joined an online community, I tossed ideas and read the books. I fumbled my identity on the black background of the Parallel Perception forum where light text arises from the void of the dark background. I always enjoyed this visual representation of the way that Lujan and students arrive on the screen and inside my awareness.

Over the many years of dancing with these ideas, these practices – it has become my practice to take a break from Lujan’s teaching and having been saturated with some knowledge, head out to the world and fumble around until a need arises again and I find myself seeking again, finding Lujan’s teachings in one form or another.

Usually, it’s the YouTube clips, that’s the port where I usually arrive but some time before, it is around me and inside me. I begin, sometime before arriving on YouTube or the email in my inbox or the website or any of the books, before those actions take place, the remembering starts to happen like little signs or lights begin to go off. Like body-memories and I start to unravel and hear and see these lights of awareness begin to tickle or niggle for me to do something to find.

This is how it happens all the time I seek out Lujan’s teachings. Every single time, I am noticeably an almost entirely different human to who I have been last time having had close proximity to Lujan’s teachings or the last time I heard Lujan’s voice.

I have had an Online session with Lujan and also experienced Lujan guiding my awareness in real time through an online workshop. I participated in the wonderful experience of collectively passing my awareness with Lujan’s students over his first book and editing those words – offering suggestion and intimately processing the writings in a co-creative way which was a highlight for me of combining my loved ways of interacting with the incredibly liberating content.

For me, my experience is that I slowly become inside a present moment, someone who is more truly myself. I tend to believe I am authentic, however, my contact with Lujan’s teachings tells me that I am continually unveiling my truest form of self from the self that parades the world, socially.

So this is why I come and go, come and go, I suppose. When I have unveiled to a certain stage, my inner lights go off and I find that I am returned to Lujan’s realms of understandings, wishing for more contact and content. I feel that I love a little parallel to the evolving form of Lujan’s works, so I return for a top-up.

There is never any time nor pressures involved – it just happens, like life does, a continual activity. I know that one day, my path will lead me somewhere someday where I am practicing the wonderfulness of Lo Ban Pai and the idea of that makes me smile. Like, really smile because I like that feeling and I can feel that already is happening sometime out there beyond.

And yet, I am here, becoming. I’m finding that my tatatau are arriving quite quickly now. When I first came into first contact with Lujan’s work this timeframe, I had unmarked skin.

Slowly and now much more quickly, my markings which are much more functional than visual arrive quickly in a concert of co-creation, hardly intended but renegotiating who I arrive as consistently. Marks doing work, I need not do. My skin arriving places in ways for my entire being so intent is stronger. I now love how my skin holds this intent and also I love how I have come to trust my own skin to guide me through and also how I have come to listen to it better and better and better.

I have always had super-super-sensitive skin. I have navigated so many co-ordinates through the abject leadership of my skin which has never ever been quiet, my whole life. My skin can scream at me in ways that nothing in my life can make me listen. I now know how I must co-operate and align with it, as a choice of well-being and purpose and alignment.

I see sometimes, how who I am becoming as being something influenced deeply by Lujan in very many unconscious ways and I arrive again at this portal, when my saturation has seeped and it is time for more evidence of learning. So here I am again, writing for this scholarship.

I just love this learning and am grateful for the space it takes in my life, my being, my consciousness. Who I am becoming is someone who passes on now. Someone who receives knowledge and gives new knowledge and so I feel that quickening – I am growing up or maturing in ways where I can feel myself becoming a person who passes on.

My most recent traumas of life, death, renewal and healing have me holding and binding between realms and yet remaining centred in my moment of experience in the here and now. Someone mundane, no panic, without desperation and without grasping, literally anything. But there is a disharmony which I am aware of and a suffering to navigate and this is where I find a peace through activity in what I know of Lujan’s practices – fueling my desire to learn more each time.

This is where I am, again and why I reach out once more for more learnings so that I may act in becoming beyond the beckoning of the lived experience which can make me feel like nothing and no one and like I am beginning again, like many many times before.

Lujan’s teachings is the place and the space that I go when I have run out of ways and I must find more from life again. Dive deeper into life’s experiences. For this I smile and am really grateful.

With love,

Seini

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